It can be very difficult to talk to a parent who may be caught in a scam. You may see clear warning signs, but your parent may feel embarrassed, defensive, or emotionally attached to the person contacting them. This is common in romance scams, grandparent scams, investment scams, and fake bank or CRA calls.

The goal is not to win an argument. The goal is to keep communication open.

Avoid blame and embarrassment

Start with respect. Do not say, “How could you fall for this?” or “That is obviously fake.” Scammers are skilled manipulators. They use fear, loneliness, urgency, and trust to influence people.

A better opening is: “I’m worried someone may be pressuring you. Can we look at it together?”

This approach helps your parent feel supported instead of judged.

Ask questions instead of making accusations

Questions can lower defensiveness. Try asking:

• Have you met this person in real life?
• Has anyone asked you to keep this secret?
• Have they asked for money, gift cards, cryptocurrency, or banking access?
• Are they pressuring you to act quickly?
• Have they warned you not to speak with family?
• Have they given excuses for why they cannot meet or video call?

Secrecy and urgency are major fraud warning signs. Emergency scams, for example, often involve a caller claiming that a loved one needs money immediately and that the senior must not tell anyone.

Focus on the behaviour, not the person

Avoid saying, “They are a scammer,” at the start. Instead, talk about the behaviour.

For example: “It concerns me that they are asking for money but will not meet in person.”

This is especially useful in romance scams. A parent may believe the relationship is real. If you attack the person directly, your parent may defend the scammer and withdraw from the conversation.

Offer to verify together

Suggest a simple verification step. Call the bank together. Look up the official CRA number. Check whether the profile photos appear elsewhere online. Contact another family member. Review the messages calmly.

The Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre encourages Canadians to learn about current frauds and report suspected fraud and identity theft.

Keep the door open

Your parent may not accept your concerns immediately. Leave the conversation open by saying: “You do not have to decide right now. Please promise me you will not send more money before we talk again.”

If money has already been sent, contact the bank, preserve evidence, and report the matter to police and the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre.

The most important thing is keeping trust. A parent caught in a scam needs a safe person to call when the pressure increases.

Need a practical fraud prevention talk for your seniors’ residence, community group, or family?

FraudReady Canada provides clear, respectful, and practical presentations on common scams targeting seniors in Canada. Topics include phone scams, CRA scams, grandparent scams, romance scams, fake bank calls, phishing emails, and what families can do if a senior has already sent money.

Book a practical fraud prevention talk for your group today.